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The Hewlett-East Rockaway Jewish Centre, Congregation Etz Chaim,
extends a hearty Mazal Tov to you on your upcoming Simcha. We realize
how much planning it takes to create the memorable occasion we all
know it will be. We are here to help you and hope this FAQ sheet
will answer most of your questions. A list of resource people and
their contact information appears at the very end.
ADMINISTRATIVE QUESTIONS:
How will I find out what date my child has been given
and what happens then?
Rabbi Warmflash will assign your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah date
in the spring of the year he or she is in fourth grade. The date
is chosen based on many factors, including, but not limited to:
how many children are in the grade, when the Holidays fall and the
time of year of your child’s Hebrew birthday. All children
are assigned to a Saturday morning service unless there are extenuating
circumstances which can be discussed with the Rabbi. You will receive
your child’s assigned date by mail, and you will be asked
to send back a reply acknowledging and accepting the date.
Once assigned, can the date be changed? Who should I contact?
If the schedule permits, the date may be changed. You should notify
the Rabbi immediately if you are requesting such a change.
If my child is assigned a shared date, how will I know?
It generally takes about 6 months after the dates are initially
assigned for all of them to be finalized. After that time, you make
request information about shared dates from the synagogue office.
Are there Junior Congregation and Religious School attendance
requirements for becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
Yes. All children are required to attend our religious school or
an approved alternative in order to celebrate a Bar or Bat Mitzvah
at HERJC. Junior Congregation attendance requirements for each grade
are posted on our website and available from the Religious School
office.
Is there a financial obligation that must be met in order
to celebrate a Bar/Bat Mitzvah at HERJC. What does it cover, when
will it be billed and when is it due?
The Bar/Bat Mitzvah fee is currently $1,400.00. It is billed in
two equal annual installments prior to the Bar/Bat Mitvah. Our bylaws
require that this fee must be fully paid prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
date:
This fee covers all B’nai Mitzvah lessons, and administration
as well as Bimah flowers and the basic Kiddush reception following
the service for members of the congregation and up to 125 of your
guests.. If you would like a more elaborate Kiddush; or a private
Kiddush luncheon for your guests, in addition to the basic Kiddush
for the Congregation, you should contact our resident Caterer, Culinary
Concepts Custom Caterer.
What else can I do to share my Simcha with the congregation?
One permanent way to share your joy with the community is to purchase
a Simcha leaf, Apple or Rock outside the Sanctuary to honor your
child. You can reserve a space for any of these items now and for
other future simchas as well with a nonrefundable deposit which
will be applied to the cost of the item. All Simcha contributions
are completely tax deductable. For more information, please contact
the HERJC office.
Price Deposit:
Simcha Leaves (Members Only; New Tree Only) $360.00 $100.00
Simcha Apple (Members Only) $750.00 $180.00
Simcha Rock (Small) $1,000.00 $250.00
Simcha Rock (Large) $1,800.00 $250.00
Is picture taking permitted at the Bar or Bat Mitzvah?
In keeping with Jewish law, photography and videography are completely
prohibited on synagogue grounds throughout Shabbat. Families may
arrange to take pictures on the bimah during the week prior to or
following their Simcha by contacting the synagogue office. These
arrangements must be made in advance. Photographers will not be
allowed in the sanctuary without prior arrangement with the office.
PREPARATION:
What will my child learn in Religious School in preparation
for their Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
While the education in our religious school does not include Bar
or Bat Mitzvah training, students in the HERJC religious school
learn many of the prayers that are included in the service and some
of the skills necessary to chant from the Torah.
Are B’nai Mitzvah required to do a Mitzvah or community
service prior to their Bar/Bat Mitzvah? Who approves/supervises
and oversees this program?
Yes. All students are expected to do a mitzvah project as part of
their preparation. These programs are selected by the students and
their families in the Spring of Hay, and are approved and supervised
through the religious school office.
When do formal Bar/Bat Mitzvah lessons begin, what will
be covered at the lessons and who will teach my child?
Your child will be tested eighteen months prior to their Bat/Bat
Mitzvah to assess their level of reading and trope recognition.
Weekly lessons will begin about nine months prior to the Bar/Bat
Mitzvah. The timing of the start date will depend upon the time
of year the Bar/Bat Mitzvah is scheduled for, your child’s
level of competency and how much participation they will have in
the service. Your child will meet with the Cantor or a designated
tutor for up to a half hour per week.. Please note that Synagogue
policy requires that your account be current for lessons to begin.
The Cantor will contact you to set up your time for lessons.
How is my child expected to participate in the service
on the day of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah?
B’nai Mitzvah generally chant the full Kiddush at Friday night
services and read from the Torah and chant the Haftorah on Shabbat
morning. They also deliver a brief D’var Torah address which
reflects on the meaning of the Torah portion.
What else can my child do in addition to what is expected?
We are eager to have students participate more fully by reading
extra aliyot from the Torah and leading more of the service if they
are able to do so and willing to put in the preparation time that
is required. Students wishing to do more should discuss this with
the Cantor.
How much time should my child practice on a weekly basis?
The best way to master the material and make progress is to devote
at least 15 minutes daily to practicing what has been taught in
the weekly lessons. Students who don’t practice between lessons
tend to fall behind and put their participation in the service at
their Bar or Bat Mitzvah in jeopardy.
When and how many times does the family meet with the Rabbi
prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah and who schedules these appointments?
Rabbi Warmflash generally meets with B’nai mitzvah
and their parents privately three times prior to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah
date. These sessions enable the Rabbi to get to know the family
and study Torah with them. It also provides a time for him to help
the student to prepare his or her D’var Torah.
FRIDAY NIGHT SERVICE:
What happens at the Friday night service prior to Bar/Bat
Mitzvah?
The family and other friends/relatives are welcomed at this service
which lasts just under an hour. The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is expected
to chant the full Kiddush at the service.
SATURDAY MORNING SERVICE:
Should we invite the entire Hebrew School or Day School
Class/Grade to our child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah service?
In order to prevent hurt feelings, we encourage families who are
inviting most of the class to invite everyone.
Where can I purchase kippot and head coverings for the
service?
There are kippot and head coverings available for your guests to
wear. However, if you would like to supply your own, for your convenience,
you can purchase these items through the Religious School Parents
Association. Information is available …
How can parents/siblings and other relatives participate
in the service? What if they can’t read Hebrew?
We want to maximize family involvement. Parents and other relatives
can prepare a Torah reading and younger siblings can lead a prayer.
Family members who do not read Hebrew can have the honor of opening
the Ark. However, it is not our tradition to have parents speak
to their children on the Bimah as part of a Bar or Bat Mitzvah.
May candy be thrown during the service in celebration
of a Bar or Bat mitzvah?
No. As a result of several occasions on which people were injured
by thrown candy, our ritual committee no longer allows the throwing
of candy at any Simcha in the synagogue.
How many aliyot and other honors can my family have and how are
their determined?
In addition to the Bar or Bat Mitzvah, each family is allowed to
have up to 6 Jewish Adults called to the Torah for Aliyot and 4
other “non speaking” honors. All of these honors are
worked out in advance with the Rabbi.
Will there be other families celebrating Simchas at Shabbat
services on the day of my child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah?
There may be. It is common for there to be a Baby naming, Aufruf,
wedding anniversary or other Simcha celebrated on the same morning
that one or more families are celebrating their child’s Bar
or Bat Mitzvah. If there is another Simcha, this will not reduce
the number of honors that are given to the Bar/Bat Mitzvah families.
POST BAR/BAT MITZVAH:
What educational opportunities are available for my child?
An Education Series, taught by our Clergy, the Religious School
staff and members of our congregation is offered. In addition, a
Mentor Program is currently being piloted.
Can my child lead a service; chant Haftorah or Torah at another
service?
We hope that your child’s Bar or Bat Mitzvah will mark the
beginning of their active participation in the spiritual life of
our congregation. The Rabbi and Cantor are eager to find more ways
for them be become involved.
How can I show my appreciation to the Rabbi/Cantor for
their help with our Simcha?
Many families choose to make a donation to the Rabbi’s Discretionary
Fund to thank the Rabbi and to the Cantor’s Music Fund to
thank the Cantor. These tax deductable donations are acknowledged
in Hakol.
These people are here to help you: Feel Free to contact them with
specific questions
Rabbi Warmflash
Cantor Sokol
Mr. Plotkin
Mr. Woolfe
Religious School Parents Association
Caterer
HERJC Office Staff
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